See Ya Summer...

As of September 22, 2016 it is officially fall. Sure you can still wear shorts and you will inevitably sweat walking to the mailbox, but eventually you can wear a shirt with a sleeve. Eventually. Here's hoping you spent some of your summer (if not all) on the water. The Harpeth never disappoints, unless of course you crash into the concrete wall or canoe into a tree full of snakes, but all fun comes with a little risk..

Let's get Nasty....

When the opportunity presents itself to road trip and shop, one must do such things. There is no sale more worth the drive than Nasty Gal's warehouse sale. Thousands of items discounted up to 90% off. I repeat, 90% off. 5 days of shopping with new items added daily.  I'm pretty sure this is what Heaven on Earth feels like. We're talking $25 faux fur coats, $30 Jeffrey Campbell shoes and $5 accessories.  I'll happily drive to Kentucky in 20 degree weather any day for this. Give yourself plenty of time- there are aisles of shoes, rows of bins and more racks than you can count to go through. This is one sale you don't want to miss....

The Dirtiest of 30's...

30. It comes once. So make it count. Hell, I did. It couldn't have been done without my broads. Also loving referred to as my woes, my squad, my confidants, my accomplices and my loves. We're no stranger to a girl's trip (just ask my bank account) and we certainly don't miss a birthday, but milestone birthdays are a whole other monster. Naturally we needed a pool, even if only 10 hotels in Manhattan accommodate this. And a hint of luxury. And spunk, I need lots of spunk (Drake blaring in the lobby had me sold). Tall order for some hotels, but not for the Dream Hotel Downtown. And. What. A. Dream. It. Was. Do make sure you get to the pool promptly at 8 am or you will not only pass up a lounge chair, but you'll miss the fireworks when everyone else comes down at 8:15 am and rages because they don't have one. Rages, like loses their I-paid-for-a-room-here shit. Everyone knows the early bird gets the worm (and poolside relaxation apparently). After poolside entertainment and shopping (lots of shopping) we found ourselves at some of the best restaurants in NYC. You can't get glow sticks and friendship bracelets with just any drink, but you can at The Clocktower if you order the Gap Year. Speaking of glow sticks, have you ever had an unassuming brunch with your girls only to have a server stop you halfway through the meal and bring you glow sticks and turn off the lights all while the DJ spins? Just visit Beauty and Essex. Brunch like you've never experienced before. It'll also make more sense why you've seen more bodycons before you finish your first glass of champagne. Not to mention the grilled cheese, smoked bacon and tomato soup dumplings just might change your life. If that doesn't change your life however, wearing a penis hat as the birthday song plays at Employees Only will... My friends got jokes. 

As if traveling to the city that never sleeps wasn't enough, round 2 resumed in the form of a house party complete with Drake balloons and blueberry vodka jello shots. My friends just get me. That's why you need your girls. There's this small time frame in life where you have the life of an adult, but the freedom of an early twenty-something. In that time frame, find your people. Live your life with these people before the next chapters unfold and the time has lapsed for penis hats and brunches that turn into raves. I am so thankful for these experiences, but mostly for my woes.

Life's a Beach!

When your best friend turns 40, you celebrate. Well actually, you leave the country. Yes you get a birthday every year, but I'm one of those people that celebrates her birthday like it's the last one she'll ever get. I had a pinata at my last birthday and I'm older than 10 so there's that. That pinata was filled with liquor but I digress... 

I do recommend getting your passport a year in advance to avoid oh I don't know, not getting it on time and then finally getting it only to end up stuck in customs in Mexico City with a stranger named Ismail who you're pretty sure might kill you for sport. That however, was a different trip to Mexico and the scariest thing that happened on this trip was going to bed before the 10 o'clock news. 

Travel the FMOTS way:

  • Drink on the plane
  • Don't let that flight attendant push you around- if you have to pee, you have to pee
  • Drink more on the plane because you aren't allowed to pee on the plane
  • Bring your game face, customs does not enjoy your smile they'll assume you also want to kill for sport (I watch Forensic Files lay off me) **Insert you should watch that show here... http://www.forensicfiles.com/
  • Bring your patience, everyone speaks English but refunding a credit card is a foreign language
  • Wear sunscreen, but lie about the SPF
  • Order any and every tropical, pretty and festive pool drink you can think of (three times)
  • Eat your weight in pico de gallo
  • Get international calling. You'll piss everyone off when you can't call your boyfriend
  • Post highly obnoxious "I'm here, you're not" pictures of your scenery 
  • Go jet skiing and see just how fast that puppy goes for as long as your passenger can hang on
  • Make friends at the bar in the pool and buy them all shots multiple times declaring that they're: "Your target market"
  • Pack your florals (hopefully you'll change out of your bathing suit to wear them)
  • Stay at the http://www.riu.com/es/Paises/mexico/cancun/hotel-riu-palace-las-americas/index.jsp
  • Travel with down ass bitches. They don't come with frequent flyer miles, but damn are they rewarding

Signed,

FMOTS