Life's a Beach!

When your best friend turns 40, you celebrate. Well actually, you leave the country. Yes you get a birthday every year, but I'm one of those people that celebrates her birthday like it's the last one she'll ever get. I had a pinata at my last birthday and I'm older than 10 so there's that. That pinata was filled with liquor but I digress... 

I do recommend getting your passport a year in advance to avoid oh I don't know, not getting it on time and then finally getting it only to end up stuck in customs in Mexico City with a stranger named Ismail who you're pretty sure might kill you for sport. That however, was a different trip to Mexico and the scariest thing that happened on this trip was going to bed before the 10 o'clock news. 

Travel the FMOTS way:

  • Drink on the plane
  • Don't let that flight attendant push you around- if you have to pee, you have to pee
  • Drink more on the plane because you aren't allowed to pee on the plane
  • Bring your game face, customs does not enjoy your smile they'll assume you also want to kill for sport (I watch Forensic Files lay off me) **Insert you should watch that show here... http://www.forensicfiles.com/
  • Bring your patience, everyone speaks English but refunding a credit card is a foreign language
  • Wear sunscreen, but lie about the SPF
  • Order any and every tropical, pretty and festive pool drink you can think of (three times)
  • Eat your weight in pico de gallo
  • Get international calling. You'll piss everyone off when you can't call your boyfriend
  • Post highly obnoxious "I'm here, you're not" pictures of your scenery 
  • Go jet skiing and see just how fast that puppy goes for as long as your passenger can hang on
  • Make friends at the bar in the pool and buy them all shots multiple times declaring that they're: "Your target market"
  • Pack your florals (hopefully you'll change out of your bathing suit to wear them)
  • Stay at the http://www.riu.com/es/Paises/mexico/cancun/hotel-riu-palace-las-americas/index.jsp
  • Travel with down ass bitches. They don't come with frequent flyer miles, but damn are they rewarding

Signed,

FMOTS